Pole Dancing: Skanky or beautiful?

K so I am curious as to what you girls think. As an lds girl I think it is something that is a bit taboo in our culture. I remember a few years ago I was watching America's got talent and a pole dancer came on. It was the first time I had ever seen it and I was expecting it to be awful after all I heard about pole dancing but she got on the pole and was so elegant and beautiful. I think if classes were in my area and it wasn't so looked down on I would possibly do it. I watch videos like this and I think with the exception of her outfit its beautiful. Anyways I am curious as to what you all think? Do you think it is skanky all the time without exception or can it be done tastfully? Would you look down on someone who did it?

Sydnee and Alex

A little over two years ago I would have thought whoever told me I would be completely in love with this boy was a crazy person. We have known one another for about four years, give or take, but we were just casual friends, occasionally talking, but not very much. Then we were in a ward play together when I was a junior in high school. I began to get to know him, but not that much. It was during this time that he was baptized, and I did attend, something I am really glad about now! Then the year passed and we saw one another at church, but I was more into his best friend! Then around the Christmas of 2008 his dad passed away, and I remember going to the funeral. But it was not until later in around May of 2009 that we began to be close friends. I “tricked” him into asking me to the Mormal, an LDS prom. We started talking more and realized how much we had in common. After the dance we just started hanging out quite a bit, but I still kind of had a boyfriend. I had broken up with the boy when he moved away, but we were not necessarily totally done. Then one day Alex kissed me! It was then that I realized that I better figure out what I was going to do! I decided to take a chance and try things with him. From then on we were practically inseparable and even though it was only a couple of months that we were together, I knew all along that we were meant for one another. He brought out the best in me and was not only my beau, but my best friend, too. He left December 2, 2009 and is coming home December 9, 2011! Less than five months left! I just cannot believe how lucky I am to have such a wonderful man in my life and am so proud of him for being on a mission, but I cannot wait until I see him again!

Wedding Dresses

I still have 11 months left but I can't help but daydream of my wedding and looking at possible wedding dresses :) My favorites so far are all of these the are at treasures bridal shop and bridal expressions

Whitney and Zach

hello!! my name is whitney and my missionaries name is Zach! first of all hes the love of my life and i cant wait for him to be back! he left April 6th 2011! so we met almost 4 years ago at EFY! it was july the week of my birthday! he was in my company and the first day we had to introduce ourselves we said our name and our favorite candy! oh we also had to have an adjective to describe us. SO i introduced myself as wonderful whitney and my favorite candy is recess. then the next day was my birthday and he got me a recess and hung out with me all day! the next day was horrible for me and i felt like nobody liked me so i kind of separated myself from everyone. he noticed this and escorted me EVERYWHERE! haha then we wrote notes back and forth all week and he asked me if i liked anyone and i said yes then he said what color is his eyes? and i didnt know what his eye color was, so i looked over at him and he smiled big time! haha hes so clever! then i asked if he liked anyone and he said yes and i asked him what color her eyes were and he said same as mine without even looking at me! haha so we knew that we liked each other and he came to my dorm and played pool with me! haha it was amazing then we went to a banquet and dance then talked on the phone all night and then i woke up late on the goodbye day and ran down to see him and my clothes were on BACKWARDS AND INSIDE OUT! haha he said it was the cutest thing ever! then we went home. he lives in washington and i live in idaho! so we have a long distance relationship! but we talked on the phone like non stop and a few months after we said i love you for the first time!
haha and as the years went on we had a hard time! we werent the nicest people to each other but the love was still there! he came to see me with his family! despite all the hard times, we still worked as hard as we could to be close! and then a year passed and i talked my mom into going to see him! so we went to his town as a graduation present! haha he didnt know! so when i got there i called him and told him to go check the mail cuz i sent him something! i hid behind the mailbox and when i saw he was walking to it i asked him if he could do me a favor and he said of course and i said catch me! he was confused and so i showed myself and ran and jumped on him and kissed him! hehe then we spent the week together!
and then i had to leave and the next 2 years was really hard! so we wrote for like 5 months because of a lack of communication devices and i then went to college and got my cell phone and computer! we talked and he came to see me twice!! so that was awesome and now im at college again and when he got his call he had me on the phone and then he said it would be 5 months before he left and now hes gone! but we would talk nonstop!! every chance i got i would call him! we would talk all day and then we would fall asleep on the phone! when i woke up in the morning he would still be there! i loved it! that was my favorite part of the whole long distance relationship!
But the day before he got set apart we got on skype. we skyped all day and then we tried to stay up all night but we fell asleep on camera! it was so sweet! i woke up in the morning and looked at my computer! i saw my future husband sleeping as deep as he could! haha he looked so sweet and peaceful! i stared at him for probably a good hour! then he woke up and we spent like 5 hrs together on skype. then we said our goodbyes and he got set apart!
That is our story in a nutshell. yes i know it was a long post so the word nutshell isnt really a good word to use. BUT our relationship is so much more than this! if only everyone knew/ saw what i do! so when he gets back and we get married ill tell you the rest of my story!!!!

Caitlin and Brandon

I love this pic Caitlin :)


It was Sunday, August 29, 2010. The second Sunday after Kandace,
Mary, and I moved to Cedar for college. It started off as a normal
morning. The three of us getting all dolled up for 9:00 church. After
all, we needed to impress the guys! We walked to church with the guys
who lived by us, Tristan and Aaron. We hadn't really spent a ton of
time getting to know them. Just walking to and from church. They were
kinda nerdy. :) Anyways, we go to church, had Sacrament meeting, then
went to Sunday school. And for whatever reason, Kandace, Mary, and I
are the goobers that we are and fought over who had to decide where we
were going to sit. Mary lost that battle as she did most battles. >:)
So she ended up sitting next to this cute guy named Brandon. Well she
talks to him a little bit. A lot of dead end conversations. Anyways,
Sunday school gets over and Tristan and Aaron come up and ask us if we
want to go hiking after church. Of course we said yes. And Tristan
invited Brandon. I don't remember if I was the only sinner with my
phone at church or if I was just pathetic enough to be the first to
volunteer, but I got Brandon's number so we could let him know what
the plans were after church. He and I talked a little bit, then went
our seperate ways for Relief Society and Elders Quorum. After church
we walked out in front of him, and didn't know. And of course I say,
well he's cute! Who knows if he heard me. But I was embarrassed all
the same! So we get home, change, eat lunch, and meet up to go on our
hike. My roommates knew that I had a thing for Brandon so they let me
sit by him in the car and kept pushing for us to talk on the hike. So
basically, we hiked, it was fun. Brandon seemed more interested in
Kandace. He talked to her most of the time and she kept ditching him
so he would talk to me. He later told me he thought she was shady.
Well we finished hiking and got back in the cars to go home. Of
course I sat by him again. Mary made us all dinner so we hung out for
the rest of the night. Well the details are fuzzy, but I think it was
the next day... Brandon and I were texting and I invited him over to
come hang out. Little did I know my roommates were both leaving. So
he and I hung out by ourselves. And let me tell you, I was nervous
out of my mind. I was still shy around him. He probably thought I
was such a goober... Anyways, we ended up hanging out everyday after I
got done with class and got super close. I didn't stay shy around him
too long. That ended the day we played Slap Jack and I was so mad
cause I couldn't win and I hate losing!!! Well my feelings didn't
change and one day, I don't remember how it came up we were texting
and we talked about how I liked him. He told me he didn't want to get
attached to anyone before he left on his mission. So we were friends.
Well I started dating, and he started dating my roommate. Long story
short, my boyfriend Mike broke up with me and Brandon and my roommate
Kandace broke up about the same time. Mike and Kandace got close and
so did Brandon and I. Brandon and I got to the point in our
friendship where we flirted like crazy and spent just about every
waking moment together. So one night, he was at my apartment and he
was feeling crappy cause his kidney was bugging him. So I was giving
him a massage and we were talking. Well it got late and time for him
to go home. I was super worried, but he assured me he would be fine.
I told him, just like I did every other night, to text me when he got
home. He was living with his brother and sister-in-law and they had
been moving that week from an apartment to a house just a little ways
down the street. Well he texted me and said he forgot his key to the
house, so he was going to go sleep on the floor of the apartment,
without pillows or blankets, or any source of warmth at all. So I
told him, whether he liked it or not, we were coming to get him, and
he was going to sleep in our front room on a mattress. He tried to
argue with me, but I ignored his texts and we just showed up at his
apartment. He still tried to argue with me, but I told him I wasn't
leaving unless he did so he gave in and came back to my apartment with
us. We got his bed all set up, asked if he needed anything, I
massaged his back for a while till he seemed like he was going to
sleep, then I told him good night and that I'd see him in the morning.
Taking care of him gave me the weirdest feeling.... I don't know how
to describe it. I felt like it was right. That I was the one who
should take care of him. This scared me. I didn't need any feelings
for him coming back. He had his mission call, he was leaving. So I
pushed the feelings away. I went to bed and woke up the next morning
to walk out to him sleeping. Once again, I got this feeling of, "I
like seeing him first thing in the morning. It makes me happy." I
pushed it out of my mind. I wasn't about to do this to myself.
Anyways, time passed and things were great. He was my best friend.
Then, one Thursday night, we were playing Capture the Flag. I was
super upset cause Kandace and Mike wouldn't stop flirting and play the
game, and I hate losing. Well, it was cold, I wasn't wearing a jacket
(cause I was hot from running. I didn't need one.) and as I was
walking back to the middle of our playing field, I got a stabbing pain
in my lower back and then my legs went numb. I tried to take another
step but couldn't. All I could do to make the pain go away was bend
over forward. Brandon looked over at me and I just said, you need to
come over here. Something is wrong. He got to me and I just lost it.
I started sobbing. I was scared, I didn't know what was wrong, all I
knew was that I couldn't walk or move. I told Brandon the best I
could what was wrong. So he picked me up and carried me to my
friends' apartment cause it was closer than mine. I laid on the couch
while they tried to figure out what to do. I was so confused. I
didn't really know what was going on around me. All I knew that
Brandon was next to me the whole time. The guys gave me a blessing
and then someone said, take her to the emergency room. So Brandon
picked me up again and took me to the car. I think at this point I
was in shock. I was shaking uncontrollably, having a hard time
breathing, sobbing, and couldn't focus on anything. We got to the ER,
sat there for a few hours (Brandon stayed with me the whole time,
except when I was getting x-rays) and then went home. The doctor
couldn't see anything wrong, and I could walk, not comfortably, but at
least I could move my legs without having a panic attack. He gave me
Lortab, which apparently makes me super tired and a tad incoherent. I
didn't want to sleep in my room alone, so my friends brought my
mattress to the front room and my roommate and friend Alyssa stayed
out there with me. They gave me my medicine and I kinda fell asleep.
That stage of sleep where you are asleep but aware of what's going on
around you. Brandon, Mary, and Alyssa talked while I slept. I can't
remember what they talked about, but I remember Brandon saying how
scared he was when I called him over and then they laughed about my
drug induced state. I remember them all leaving, and Kandace coming
home, but nothing after that. I woke up in the morning and was
talking to Mary and Alyssa. Mary told me that Brandon was afraid he
was starting to like me. After they had left the apartment the night
before, they all talked some more. He told her that he felt like he
needed to take care of me when I got hurt. He didn't think, he just
had to do something. It sounded similar to what I had thought about
him just a few weeks before. Anyways, I was so sore, and for the next
few weeks had to sit and do nothing cause I hurt so bad. And each
time, Brandon was there. Ready to do whatever I needed him to do.
Get me medicine, my ice pack, give me a massage. He was so amazing.
And I loved having him take care of me. Well, one day I was coming
home from class and he met up with me (cause he knew I was done for
the day and was coming to come hang out. Just like every other day.
:) ). Right as I was about to open my apartment door he said "Wait!
So... Do you want to go on a date with me?" and I giggled. Yah,
giggled, and said "Sure." Then we went in my apartment. It is so
funny to think about it now. It wasn't awkward even though the
situation should have been! Anyways, the next day we went to dinner
and a movie. I had so much fun! We were getting back around 8ish and
were going to hang out with our group of friends afterwards. We
thought it would be so funny to walk in holding hands (One of my
friends had warned me before that going on a date was a bad idea. It
would make the group awkward cause at this point Mike and Kandace were
dating, the last thing the group needed was me and Brandon dating.).
Anyways, we thought it'd be funny to try to get a reaction out of
everyone. I was thinking, oh my gosh, this is going to be so awkward!
I can't hold Brandon's hand!! So we went in, gave it a little while
and then rested my head on his shoulder. Then he put my arm around
me. Slowly we got to holding hands, the whole time our friends
looking at each other like, "What the heck is going on!?" We told
them we were just kidding at the end of the night, but after he went
home I asked him if it was weird for him. He told me it wasn't, that
he felt like it was so natural for that to happen to us. I was glad
he said that because I agreed. At this point I'm thinking, "Oh crap!
So much for not falling for him!!" I went to bed thinking about him
and smiling. The next day, we went for a walk and were talking and he
said, "I wish I was back from my mission. That would make all of this
so much easier." And I said, "Your timing sucks bud. I liked you
forever ago. If you had liked me then, we would have had more time
together." At which point he decides to tell me that he liked me
then. He really was scared about getting too attached to me and then
having to leave. So we decide that we like each other, but nothing is
going to happen cause he was leaving soon. So we go on being friends.
Friends who occasionally held hands under a blanket while the group
was watching a movie, and who fell asleep texting each other. One
night, (I remember the date for this one! :) ) we decided to go lay
outside and look at the stars. We had a super deep conversation and
we were just talking and he said, "What if I was home from my mission
and I asked you, right now, to marry me. What would you say?" I laid
there for a minute thinking about it. He was my best friend, and I
knew I liked him. I just didn't know how much I liked him. As I
thought about it, this feeling came over me that it was right. This
whole thing with him. It was just right. He made sense. He was
everything I always knew I wanted, and so much more that only Heavenly
Father could've known that I NEEDED. I told him that if that were the
case, I would tell him yes. Yes, I would marry him. And then, I
couldn't stop smiling. And he couldn't stop smiling. And he asked if
he could kiss me. And I told him he could. So our first kiss was
while we were lying in the grass looking at the stars. He always
tells me that he never imagined that fireworks really started going
off during kisses, but that first kiss was fireworks for him. I just
stopped breathing. So that was that. We spent every moment with each
other that we possibly could and fell so in love. I met his family
and they are amazing and I know that I am going to fit right in! One
night he and I were in my apartment lying on the love sac and just
looking at each other. We did this most nights. We'd talk, he'd
tickle me, we'd wrestle, we'd lay there and look at each other, I
would start to fall asleep, he would brush my bangs from my face, or
rub my back, or occasionally just touch my arm, face, neck, or hands.
On this particular night he told me he wanted to marry me. And then
we were talking about when we would want to get married. And set the
date July 12, 2013. 3 days after my 21st birthday. :) One night,
Brandon and I got to talking. It was a conversation talking about our
pasts. He told me how he got his patriarchal blessing when he was 14.
In it, it told him to pray for his future spouse, because she needed
him. So he did. Well, at this time, I was, for a lack of better words,
boycotting the gospel. My sister had been sick for 11 years. She was
on dialysis because her kidneys had to be removed. We were waiting to
find a donor. I couldn't understand how Heavenly Father could do this
to us. Do this to me. I had to fill in for my mom. I had to be strong
for my younger siblings. After 11 years, I'd had enough of being
strong, and lost all faith. I blamed my Heavenly Father. I stopped
praying, because He wouldn't help anyways. Well, one day was
particularly bad. Out of no where, I just felt peace. I felt like
everything would be okay. I was so overcome with the spirit. I felt my
Savior's arms embrace me and hold me. Years later, Brandon told me
since he was 14, he prayed for his future spouse, a lot of memories
came into my mind. But this one more than any other. I started to cry,
feeling the arms of my Savior around me again. I cried, because I
knew, with everything inside me, that day, I felt the peace and
comfort I did, because of a prayer of a 14 year old boy. Brandon had
been praying for his future wife since he was 14. Since he was 14, I
knew at that moment he had been praying for me. I smiled at Brandon
and knew he knew the same thing. All those years he'd been praying for
me. I then pulled out my patriarchal blessing. I cried when I read the
words I now knew were talking about Brandon. That my Heavenly Father
was preparing a wonderful man for me. That he would be a great and
courageous priesthood holder. And a great and courageous priesthood
holder Brandon is. We blissfully spent the last couple weeks before he
left. He hadn't told me he loved me yet because he was waiting for
the perfect moment. On Sunday, April 3, he came to watch the second
session of conference with us and say his goodbyes, as he was getting
set apart the next morning and leaving for Provo so he could finish up
with a few things before going into the MTC that Wednesday. Anyways,
as he and I were saying goodbye, I of course started crying. He just
held me and reminded me he wasn't going to be gone forever. Then he
said, I don't know if this is the perfect moment, but he wanted to say
it before he left. He told me he loved me. All I could do was hug
him and tell him it was the best moment. The last thing he said to me
before he left was I love you. And that's my story. :)

Cenzy and Brandon

I thought I would share my story :)

Brandon and I met when he was 4 and I was 3. Our Dad's were stationed on the same military base and our families quickly became friends. Brandon was my best friend and first little crush. We told people all the time that we were going to get married someday and we would fight over what day and our sunbeam teacher would say we didn't need to worry about it until we were older and Brandon had gone on his mission and we would just say ok and stop fighting about and hold hands. Both our families moved away and for a while we wrote letters but eventually our families lost touch and both moved all over the states.

Growing up it was always the family joke that we really would get married.I just thought yeah right I haven't seen him since I was little and we probably wouldn't like each other. When I was 14 I got a facebook friend request from him and the rest of his family. They lived in Tennesse and we lived in Washington and I never thought anything of it and we would occasionally chat on facebook. Our families continued moving around and mine moved to Idaho when I was 15.

High School was tough for me I felt like I didn't fit in and I thought most of the guys were jerks. For a while I started to think I never wanted to get married. The summer between my junior and senior year Brandon's family decided to move to Idaho. As soon as my family found out I never heard the end of all there jokes. I would laugh and continue thinking whatever we're just friends. On July 1st,2009 his family moved in. My family went to see them that night. We all talked and he was so cute and funny and I just felt so close to him and was able to be myself immediately. We hung out all the time with our family over the next few weeks. Our families teased us and he would joke and call me his future wife. About a week and a half of them living here I got a facebook relationship status request to be marrried to him. I laughed so hard and accepted it. On August 14 we went on our first official date and went bowling. It was alot of fun and at this point I knew I liked him alot and I wasn't sure if he liked me. We hung out and went on another date. I still wasn't sure what he really thought of me. We went on another date around september 12 and went to see G.I. Joe the whole time I was trying to hint to get him to hold my hand he didn't though and after the movie I drove him back to his house. I figured he just liked me as a friend and he was just about to get out when he said "can I ask you what your feelings are for me." I was nervous but I was honest and said I liked him alot. He smiled and said he liked that answer and I asked him if the same question. I was shocked when he said "your pretty much the person who makes me the happiest" I was so shocked that pretty much all I was able to get out was that awesome. I was such a nerd I didn't even hug him I was just in shock but I was also so happy( later he told me he thought he had blown it by saying that, poor guy) We talked all the time over the next few days and on september 17th he asked me to be his girlfriend. I of course said yes. We spent as much time as we could together and quickly fell in love. I have never felt the way I felt about him for anyone before and it may sound cheesy but we both felt we must have been best friends or known each other in the pre existance and we knew within about 2.5 months that we wanted to be with each other for eternity.

In december 2009 his family decided to move to Utah I was so sad but knew that we would be able to handle the distance and I felt it would even help both of us to prepare for him leaving on his mission. We saw each other about once a month and in Febuary 2010 he got his mission call to the Mexico, Mexico City North mission. He would be leaving June 9th I was so proud of him and knew he would do great but I was also so sad at the thought of him leaving for 2 years. The time passed too quickly and in the end of May I went to Utah with my family to go his farewell. The night before his farewell we went on a walk and ended up sitting on the grass at his church building and looked out at the Mount Timpanogas temple we talked and told each other how much we loved each other and he just held me and we both cried. It was so tough but we both knew it was what would be best. The next day he had his farewell and my family and I left within about a half an hour. I kissed him and we said goodbye. We talked on the phone as much as we could before he left. June 9, 2010 was so tough for me I cried so much but I knew that it was the right thing for both of us.

He has been out for a little over 13 months now I still love him so much. It has definately not been easy and I have struggled a ton because he can't email and the mail system is slow but I know its what I am supposed to be doing and that it will be worth it in the end. I love him so much and know I can do this. We got this girls :)

Emilie and Tim

Emilie before I say your story I just have to say you are such a cute couple :) and Happy Hump Day!!!!!!! Woot woot you got this girly. Haha well here is Emilie and Tim's story




Oh, where to start... I had a crush on my boy, Tim, way before he even knew who I was. I knew him because 1) I worked with his dad who was in the Stake Presidency and I was a co-chair in the stake youth council, we talked a lot and I'd say we were friends, 2) Tim was on the high school soccer team and then in his first year of college, he played for BYU's team. 3) I'd heard him speak and bear his incredible testimony several times, 4) I'll just say it, he's DANG good-looking, oh my handsome and holy hot body, is so outgoing, a happy person, has a perfect big white smile, and has a voice that makes my heart flutter. 5) He was my perfect description of Prince Charming. You know how everybody has that one person they think they could never ever be with, but they think they're incredible and only THE most amazing girl ever could deserve to be with him, and even then, it's a stretch? That was Tim to me. He has every quality I wrote down on my 'list of wants in a future husband' when I was a little Beehive in Young Women's. I looked to him as my 'dream man'. So, obviously I was in love with this kid before I even really knew who he was. I had this crush on him all through high school up until when we met. Creepy as it may be, I even wrote his name in my journal as one of my crushes! There's my proof. :P As far as him knowing me, his Dad talked about me to him sometimes, told him to talk to me, but he never would because he 'was too scared and too intimidated.' "After all how could someone so out of my league, like her, like me!? AND I don't even know her." So that's the background of our story up until when we met.


May 30th was my seminary graduation. Me and a friend were asked to do a musical number for the event, and we planned on singing a duet. Only problem was that we didn't have a pianist...we tried and tried to find one, until she came up with the idea to ask my Tim to play. I was immediately, "YES YES YES!!!!" After all this could give me my chance, if I could get up the courage, to talk to him! So she called, and he couldn't do it because he had somewhere to be, but asked if we'd be okay if his sister played instead. We of course said yes because we desperately needed someone, but my heart kinda hurt because I'd wanted Tim! :P Well, Tim ended up being able to come, and he wanted to be there for his sister who he'd asked to play instead of him. I remember having a dress-rehearsal and that's when I spoke my first words to him. I was pretty proud of myself. :) Oh I was so smitten with him. Right before we sang at the actual meeting, I was talking to my friend that was singing with me, and she told me she had butterflies..I curiously asked her why, and she replied that she and Tim had dated a couple years before and she hadn't ever fully gotten over him. WELL as you can imagine, that kinda crushed my hopes of getting to know him without hurting her. So anyway, we ended up singing and the song went great! I remember making eye-contact a couple times with him. Made my heart sing! :) I left immediately after for a graduation party, so I didn't go up to him after... like my friend did. Haha she texted me awhile after the event, saying that he'd had asked for my number and she'd given it to him, figuring I wouldn't mind. Tell ya what, I didn't mind AT ALL! HE texted me that night and we talked till I fell asleep. He asked if I could hang out the next day and everything! He wanted to see me so bad. :) I felt horrible for talking to him because my friend had admitted she still had feelings for him, so we talked it out and she was completely fine, luckily. She thought it was adorable the way everything was happening and told me she wanted us to get to know each other. So I moved forward and the rest is history!!


Our first real date was two days after graduation. We went to the Pepperwood waterfall...got lost for a sec but found our way, and then we went mini-golfing at Mulligans. It was a shorter date because I had plans already for later that night, but it ended up being perfect. :) We talked the whole time with ease and loved getting to know each other. It's surprising to me that it wasn't awkward in the slightest bit, because when he picked me up that night, literally my only words to him had ever been, "How did the song sound?" But anyway, the first date was perfect, couldn't have gone better, and I was absolutely thrilled and hopeful for a second date. We continued to see each other everyday till the day he left on his mission.


The story of us first holding hands is my absolute favorite. My friend and I had planned a double date for me and Tim, and her and her boy. We were going to go skittles bowling and then roast marshmallows and starbursts in the fire-pit in my backyard. So we went. :) Best. date. ever. We had so much fun, it was such an easy going date. It started off with me and Tim fighting about who was paying...I pulled out my card, handing it to the cashier, and Tim turned my shoulders towards him and said, "Oh hey, can I have a hug??" He pulled me in, pulled my card from the counter and slid his own into the cashiers hands. Little stink I was so mad, but it was sooo cute. We started bowling, making fools of ourselves, and this one time after Tim bowled, he came, sat down, and put his hand on mine, which was on my lap. (This is making me teary eyed dang-it!) My heart was going to pop out of my chest, I was flying higher than a kite!! Remember this is my PRINCE CHARMING that is holding HANDS with ME!! Every time after that, after I bowled, I'd come off the floor and grab his hand, every time he got off the floor he grabbed mine. We were immediately addicted to holding hands. After bowling, we walked out to the car with his arm wrapped around my shoulder and mine around his waist. We walked out to the car laughing and talking, swaying probably like drunk people because we weren't paying attention to anything but each other. :P At my house, while we were gathering everything up, I ran into my parents room really quick and squealed that Tim had held my hand that night. :) :) They laughed and told me to go enjoy the rest of the night with him. We had the best time ever in the fire-pit. We laughed and laughed and laughed and OH it was just the best night ever. He had his arm around me the whole time, we held hands, that's just the night that we REALLY became dependent on each other and the night we really became inseparable.


The first kiss was perfect too. We'd gone to the Real Salt Lake game with his whole family, we'd star-gazed with his two cute nieces, ages 4 and 2, and after they left, we went and got snow-cones and he decided he wanted to star-gaze again. Totally knew the first kiss was coming. :P We laid next to each other on the grass just talking, eventually we started talking about serious things, about 'us.' He then sat up, leaned over, and put his hands over me, staring into my eyes. I think my heart stopped beating. Not even kidding. We continued talking with him over me like that, I was soo gosh darn scared of being kissed, after-all I'd never been! I had no clue what to do! He completely surprised me when he went for it, I'd just finished a phrase in talking, and all the sudden, he was there! Haha I remember thinking, "Oh my goodness I'm not VL anymore..." But it was wonderful. :) He came up, smiled, and kissed me one more time. Very sweet, short, and cute. It was about 5 minutes to my curfew, so we quickly got up, he grabbed my hand, and we skipped to his car. :)


He told me he loved me at the Sunrise Elementary School playground. We'd walked there from his house, and then messed around on all the equipment. At one point we stopped and were just talking. He'd been telling me for awhile that he had something to tell me, but whenever I'd bring it up, he'd kind of brush it off...but this time, he said, "Oh yeah, I really...have something to tell you...you know, that thing I've been telling you I needed to tell you.." Ha it was so cute, he was soo nervous. He started telling me about how with most movies he's watched recently, there's been a 'happily ever after', and in particular, there was this one movie where an amazing girl came into an average mans life and totally changed him. He then said, "Em, it's like us.. and I...I...think I'm just trying to say that I've fallen in love with you." It was so stinkin' cute, but I totally was not expecting it. I was shocked, it'd come so fast for him, and I got so scared! Loving him hadn't even crossed my mind...it didn't even occur to me that I was falling in love with him too. I hadn't been paying attention, and now, here we were, falling hard and fast for each other. Aw shucks, it was really cute, and definitely heart-felt. :)


We dated such a short time, but we both knew from the start that we were special. He was my first, I probably his 20th. I didn't mind too much, because from those experiences with other girls, he knew what he was looking for now, he'd learned about himself, and he'd learned from that past. He respected me to no end, never questioned me, he never made me feel inadequate, or dumb, or too inexperienced, and he never compared me. Complete respect, which meant more to me than he'll ever know. I felt like I could tell him everything, he soon became my best friend, the person I needed, everyday. He'd leave my house, and the next second I'd miss him. I hated working full-time, I could only see him nights, but at least I got to see him everyday.


He left on his mission 1 year ago tomorrow (July 21st). And one year ago today, he was set apart as a full-time missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. The experience with him being on his mission has changed both of our lives forever. I wouldn't take it back for one second. Of course I miss him terribly, but this is where I want him to be and this is where I need to be. It's a huge trial for me in all ways, but I know I can get through because I have the Savior, who understands all my pains, all my joys, all my doubts, all my 'oh my gosh my heart is going to burst with love' moments. Through this, the Savior has become my best friend. He's the only one that's been there for me completely for the whole waiting experience thus far. Others have definitely shown their doubts, told me their fears, told me I couldn't do it, that I wouldn't do it. ONE person has stood strong with me, and that truly is the Savior. Like I said, I wouldn't take back this experience for the world. It's changed me, made me better. My testimony's grown, my love for Tim has grown incredibly, my love for the gospel has blossomed, I've learned who my true friends are, I know more about myself, I know more about missions, I know what I want, I know how to better feel the spirit, I 'know' so many more things now.


I love Tim with all my heart and I hope he's the one I get to spend forever with. No one knows me like he does, he loves me for me, I love him for him, we respect each other, we have the same goals, same desires, we love each others personalities and they blend perfectly. It's as if we're almost the same person, but he a guy, and me a girl. We're truly happy together, we feel the spirit around each other and Heavenly Father has told me countless times to hold onto him. I love him. I really do. I don't care what people say, I don't care what he's done, I don't care that I have a whole year more to wait, I don't care that the odds aren't in my favor, I DON'T CARE. This is something I want, something I am desperate for, and I know Heavenly Father is on our side, so we're going to get this. We CAN do this and it has been the biggest blessing for us. I love him, and I love 'us'. Alway will. :)